After most life changing medical events, there are specialist nurses and support groups to help the patient come to terms emotionally with their situation. However, after I suffered major surgical complications, there were no specialist nurses who appreciated my emotional needs, and when I sought a support group, all I found were solicitors promoting negligence claims and campaign groups for patients’ rights.
I was full of emotional pain, with no outlet for my anger. I felt alone, I needed someone to remind me that my surgeon was sorry, and that he cared, I wanted to be told that my life would get easier, and how I would learn to live my life again.
The support that I needed came from where I least expected it, from a surgeon on Twitter.
One day on Twitter, I came across a conversation between a few surgeons about when surgery goes wrong, I was really angry and started arguing with them. Instead of ignoring or blocking me, one of the surgeons took the time to tweet with me. He was very calm in the way he spoke, and had a very gentle tone, he sounded very kind. He didn’t say a lot, but he talked briefly about his perspective when surgery goes wrong, and how he coped with his own emotions. He opened my mind to a surgeon’s perspective, and helped me understand that sometimes bad things happen for no reason, and how it’s not easy for surgeons either.
What stayed with me from that conversation, was not just the caring nature of the surgeon, but how he was the first person that I’d ever spoken to, who seemed to understand how I was feeling. He indirectly encouraged me to talk with my surgeon, so that I could make my peace.
I still have bad days, I can’t forget what happened, but I gain much comfort from the support that I receive from kind surgeons on Twitter. They remind me of the caring side of surgery, which is easy to forget about after a bad experience.
When you come across an angry patient on Twitter, please remember me, and how I was angry through no fault of my own, remember how I needed support and understanding. Please try and show those patients compassion, it doesn’t take much, just a few kind words, to make them feel like someone cares.
More than just physical 