If your main parachute fails to open, leaving you plummeting to the ground, would you trust the same person to pack another chute for you? Or would you have second thoughts?
After my surgery went wrong, it was natural for me to question whether I could trust my surgeon to carry out my subsequent surgery. It was 9 months later, that was a lot of thinking time.
I did ask my surgeon to carry out the surgery. The reason why I trusted him had nothing to do with an apology. An apology is worth nothing if the person doesn’t put those words into action. Where my surgeon excelled, was that he made me believe that he wanted to make amends.
It started with him being honest about why my complications occurred, from there he could talk openly about what he would do differently during my corrective surgery. His honesty was the basis for all my trust.
When discussing my corrective surgery, my surgeon had this determinedness about him, he had already decided what he was going to do, there was little ‘joint decision making’. I needed him to confidently take this lead, otherwise I may have backed out of having further surgery for the wrong reasons (PTS). From the start my surgeon always talked about his plan (although he made it clear that the plan may change), he talked about the other surgeon that he wanted involved, he gave guideline dates, discussed surgical techniques etc. His determinedness gave me the impression that he wanted to put right the harm done.
There was also one small gesture which had a big impact on me. There had been ongoing issues with his secretary, meaning that communication between my surgeon and I, which was already fragile, was at risk of totally breaking down. So, my surgeon gave me his mobile number allowing me to contact him directly. With that gesture he was showing his trust in me. Trust works both ways, by him showing that he trusted me, that was an indication that I should trust him.
To say that I’m glad that my surgeon carried out my corrective surgery is an understatement. Not for the physical reasons, but because it took me time for me to appreciate my surgeon’s perspective and to believe that he was truly sorry. Time that we would never have had, if I had avoided seeing him again.
More than just physical 